Sunday, June 28, 2009

Damn, I forgot how bad walls are for punching. I mean, damn.
At the risk of deluding myself with self pity, today was stupid. Ended up telling my mom she should have put me up for adoption when she realized I wasn't the daughter she wanted because I've spent 24 years dealing with it.
All I want is for her to be proud of me and not just see my failings. I mean, I have plenty of failings, I get it, and they are easy to focus on, but... I try. I try really hard.
And so now my hand hurts. There is something wrong with me. I don't know how to calm down without feeling pain. That can't be healthy. Or normal. Or good. Well, maybe it can, but it probably isn't. It's hard to say from such a close perspective. It would be more reasonable to decide if I could be slightly more objective. Meh.